On Being Malificent

Recently I’ve been thinking of the movie with Angelina Jolie, “Malificent”. I know I’m a bit late in the game, but what can I say, I’ve never been one for pop culture.

So I have been thinking of this movie, and as I always do, I wonder about how it applies to real life, in a figurative way.

 

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In the movie, Malificent starts out as this incredibly beautiful fairy, a guardian fairy of sorts, who has horns on her head and these grand wings on her back that are simply amazing. Within the wings, is her power, and they are a symbol of her beauty, and strength.

She loves those giant and beautiful wings, as they are such a big part of who she is, and such a big part of her personality. She’s this incredible fairy who does good and loves. At this point, it should be known that she lives in the Moors, a fairy kingdom that borders a very corrupt human land.

As a young girl becomes curious about the humans. She was filled with wonder, as she’d never been in contact with a human before. So, she meets and falls in love with a boy named Stefan, whose affection is overshadowed by his greed and hunger for power.

As most things in life, they grow up and grow apart. Of course, years have passed and now they are young adults, and Malificent becomes the guardian of the Moors.

The King of the nearby human land, as most humans, decides he wants to conqure the Moors. When his attempts fail, he ends up wounded in battle, and grows with anger and hatred toward Malificent, who is now a very powerful fairy.

To get back at her, he declares that whoever brings him the head of the great Maleficent will become the next King, and marry his only daughter Leila. In response, a now grown and quite power hungry Stefan decides to pay a visit to Malificent in the Moors. Years have passed, but her feelings go to where they had left off so many years ago when they were just children. He’s got a plan now. He offers her a drink, which is drugged, and she falls asleep, innocence casting upon her face, almost in mourning to what would come. He cannot bring himself to kill her. Instead, he opts for cutting off the beauty and innocence and power and glory about her by taking her wings. He cuts her wings off and brings them to the King, who tells him, “You have done well, my son.”  Maleficent wakes up to find herself wingless. Her power, her glory and her beauty were raped from her by a man who only ever spoke to her in efforts to take her beauty from her one day.

This of course, made her a little ticked off, to say the least. She declares herself the Queen of the Moors, and becomes the Maleficent we see in the Disney cartoon. Anger made her this way. Betrayal made her this way. It was that she loved and was wronged that made her this way. Her power was taken from her.

How many times have we gone through this? How many times have we loved and given of ourselves only to be hurt and betrayed?

I’ll answer that with a parable.

When you move to New York City, you move with these starry eyes, and these dreams. You move there thinking, “I’m going to make my dreams come true, and make things happen for myself.”

You have this list of wonderful things you want to accomplish there, thinking of all the past people who lived there or where from there. You think of Allen Ginsberg, Madonna, Edgar Allen Poe, Basquiat, and so many other artists and writers who came here to make their dreams come true.

You can’t help but be overwhelmed by the beauty of New York City. It is an incredible city with beautiful architecture and so much to see and do. It is a city that upon first glance, you see all of it’s beauty. But after a while, you realize how hard it is to live here. You notice the homeless on a daily basis in New York. This isn’t Idaho, this is New York Fucking City. It’s hard as hell to live there. It is ugly sometimes. Trains don’t work sometimes. It’s competitive. It’s tough. Living here jades you. It is like we thought it was going to be beautiful and incredible, but here we are with our heart on our sleeves and the cup in our hand outstretched asking for alms. You feel betrayed. Let down.

This is what it is to feel hurt. And when Maleficent decided to move forward, she did so with all the anger and all the hurt and all the betrayal, still being the powerful fairy she always had been.

We do this, don’t we? Well fuck him. I’m just going to be angry. Fuck that shit. Fuck him. Fuck that person that hurt me. We think this way, as if holding on to anger will help. It doesn’t help. At all.

Back to the movie, though. So in the movie, at this point, you know the spell that Maleficent casts upon Aurora. What you don’t know is that the pixies hired to raise her are a bit incompetent, so Maleficent being the natural protector, takes it upon herself to watch over Aurora, even having chance meetings with her.

Eventually, Maleficent heals from her hurt and betrayal but it is not the anger or holding on that healed her, but love. It was the love for Aurora that healed her and restored her. It was love that allowed her to evolve back to the guardian of the Moors.

Love heals. It heals in a metaphysical way that many spend their lives trying to decipher how. But the truth is, you don’t have to know how. Just know that it does. If you’re Maleficent today, that’s okay. It’s not okay that someone cut your metaphoric wings off. It’s not okay that the thing that you held as your beauty or power was taken. That’s not okay. But, instead of holding on to the anger and the situation, know that we are beings of pure love. You may not feel it right now, and that’s okay. Mourn. Cry. Express the emotions you feel within. And then focus on love: loving yourself, your children, your dog, your mom, your community….just love. Focus on love and focus on loving you.

After a while, the mind will grow scar tissue over the scars in your life, and it will get easier. I promise.

After a while of being the evil Maleficent, I really did just get tired of it. I got tired of it, because bitterness and anger are heavy loads to carry. They serve no positive purpose and only make you a really annoying person to be around. So, I chose love. I chose to focus on those I could love, and it reminds me of that song, by Crosby Stills Nash & Young, “If you can’t be with the one you love honey, love the one you’re with”. Since I had no partner in my life, I had no choice but to love the one I was with, and that being my two beautiful daughters, Dakota and Dharma.

Little by little, the love overpowered the hate and the anger. Little by little I allowed the love to take over, and the anger melted.

Speaking of melted anger, I finished working on a crocheted dress for my little one, and had the opportunity to allure her into modeling it for me.

 

 

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Yes, those are Easter eggs. I always beat myself up over not doing the Easter thing earlier, so I decided to go the way of June Cleaver this year and be well prepared.

How are you dealing with things these days? Are you the happy Maleficent or the naughty Maleficent?

If you like, you can take my 7 day art challenge. It’s F R E E!

 

 

The Whole Bead Show

Recently, my friend and I had the privilege of obtaining passes to the Whole Bead Show in New York. This event happens once or twice a year in several parts of the United States and it’s great, because you find beads and focal points that you would not find at your local craft store or bead store online.

I thought I’d snap a few pics, and show you what I found:

These wonderful focal points are made of glass, and are made by the lovely Ann of Gardanne Beads.

Here’s a few more:

I totally lusted after these beautiful birds.

I can see myself using these beautiful beads in a necklace.

Oh, here’s some more things I found:

 

 

Do you see the Frida beads? These are decoupaged beads. I feel quite inspired to make some like these!

Oh my goodness, I’m such a sucker for these kitschy vintage inspired beads.

Beautiful, right?

Grace and I had so much fun browsing, and doing a bit of shopping, that I feel like I’ve got inspiration for days!

Speaking of inspiration, if you’re stuck, and unsure on how to motivate yourself, a session with me might be just what you need. CLICK HERE to find out what a session with me entails, and what I can do for you and your creative muse!

 

New Summer Necklaces!

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Just wanted to let you all know that i have a few new items for sale in my shop. Take a look:

 

These are three in a new product line of Summer necklaces I’m carrying this season. They are beautiful beaded necklaces with limited edition or one of a kind focal points.

 

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This stone butterfly necklace is for sale in my shop and is the first in my new line of summer necklaces!

 

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This is Lord Ganesha and he is for sale in my shop, HERE. This pendant was purchased, and hand painted in a beautiful copper tone.

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This lovely feather is made of porcelain. The conversation bead reads, “believe”. Click HERE to purchase.

 

Girl in the Water & A Vlog Post

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Made a new video. and here it is:

 

Right. And I made some art, and here it is:

 

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Like it? As I mentioned in the video, I created this painting using Fluid Acrylics by Deco Art.  to be

 

Oh, and here’s something fun that I just listed in my shop:

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This is a genuine gemstone necklace made with real amethyst. I already sold the bracelet I made, but you can purchase this necklace in my shop HERE.

 

Show me

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Will you let me see the cracks in your paint

if I choose you to be my love?

will you let me see the softness

the vulnerable part of you that only your mother knows exists

will you let me see the holes in your armour, the

peeling paint

darling

the calloused hands are a sign of manliness to me

but you

you must show me your human-ness

show me your tears

the

holes in your armour, and cracks in the paint from the years of rain that falls

upon you

will you let me see the weathered you

the you that has been aged with the salt and the sea

with the wind and rain

lover, are there parts of you that you hide?

show me these parts of you

show me

show me the layers of you

show me the scary parts of you

I want to know the scary parts of you that no one else knows

I want to venture into your haunted house

show me your painted walls with peeling paint

show me the holes in your armour

so I can show you my armour

so I can show you holes in mine

and reveal the demons that hide behind my brown eyes

 

 

 

How to Pore Your Emotions into Your Art

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I just finished filming a short video, on how I handle my emotions with art, and how you can too. I think it is a very important thing as an artist, to be sure that you’re poring who you are and what you feel into your artwork. It makes such a big difference in your art, when you are truly speaking from your heart, and there is no better way to do that, then to become one with your art AND your emotions.

 

 

 

Frustrated with your creative block? I went through YEARS not creating, until I found the answer to removing my creative block, and now I would like to share it with you. Visit my website for information on guided meditations, and to purchase my new e-book, “Free the Artist Within!”

Book a session with me today, and receive an intuitive reading PLUS a guided meditation where I’ll teach you my personal methods for getting AND keeping my creative inspiration. Sessions are filling up quickly, so purchase one today!

Click HERE to learn more about what a session with me consists of!

 

On Winter and Sitting Alone

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Sitting Alone

 

I’m sitting within myself

holding fire in my hands

visions of my slumber

I dream of not sleeping alone

but it’s just me

sitting here, in the field of forever

holding the fire of passion in my hands

I’m just gonna stand here and watch it burn

walking through the empty city streets

and

in between coffee and cigarette butts I shall walk

with the visions of tomorrow in my mind

my brain, wired with the thoughts that plague it daily

even the clouds weep for me

Did I hear someone whisper to me?

Did I hear the voice of my future beloved?

I speak often with the faith of a child

life destroys me with it’s smile of reality

I live in this little bubble

Maybe I’m in too deep

sometimes the silence feels like the crows that follow me

other times the silence softly commits murder

to the small pieces of faith you have

in Never Never Land

In the early morning hours I rise

walk

through the city that fuels me

with visions of tomorrow on my mind

my brain, wired

The trees are weeping for me

the trees, ever remembering the past

they cry for me

lie for me

raise their hands for me

in hopes that there be a god in heaven to hear my hopes for the future

this kind of life

some sort of scene from a greek play

while others lie on the street naked

mad from life

I lie near the cemetery gates

and await the next phase of my life

 

Right, so it is quite cold in this part of the world. Freezing, actually. It makes me wish I lived in a warmer climate, but knowing me, I’d miss the cold. I like the change of seasons. I do. I love looking at the beautiful full moon while standing at the edge of the ocean at night in the summer, or going hiking in the fall with my daughters. I love that it’s cold during Christmas time. These things, they give you something to look forward to. I look forward to sweater weather of the spring. I look forward to being able to go out with just my boots and a sweater. I love the changing of the seasons.

 

 

 

Winter means hibernation. Winter means staying home and baking and and making art all night. It means hearing me bitch about the cold, not going out for a smoke at night, and watching cop shows on television. It means keeping up to date on my favorite kinds of music (thanks to Youtube). It means projects. It means ideas. It means staying in. It means being lazy. Winter means Santa Claus. It means yarn and crocheting. And knitting. But winter, I’m tired of you. I’m tired and I’d very much enjoy a bit of spring and summer. I really would.

Oh, here’s a couple of bits from my art journal:

(This piece was a collaborative effort between my daughter Dakota and I.)

 

This page is probably wishful thinking. It’s funny. Nothing has jaded me more than online dating. I was actually propositioned on a popular dating site that claims to help you find your “match”. Then on another site that claims to help you find love and marriage, I found a guy who has a girlfriend, and just wanted a side piece. I’m unsure as to why he was on a dating for intention of marriage site, if only to perhaps find a “nice” girl to take advantage of. Too bad for him, that this nice girl, is also one hell of a bitch. Oh the wonders of online dating.

Oh, but I have a new zine I just recently published. Take a look:

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It’s my latest book of poems that speak of the Latina experience from my perspective. Some things are sweet while some are of a political nature. You can make my weekend wonderful by CLICKING HERE TO PURCHASE.

The Moon, the Stars & A new Vlog Post

So, I made some new art:

 

This one was a do-over. I painted over an old painting I hated, and got this from it. This is layers and layers of Deco Art paints and paint sprays, scraping tools, fiber paste and mediums.

This piece is about being able to look at the Moon and Stars in the sky, and feeling so inspired by it all. It’s about looking up into a sky that is not filled with city smog and thinking of how grand it all is, in the scheme of it all.

This piece is for sale HERE.

I also created a new video. Yay!

 

I do not claim to be perfect but I hope my words help you in some way.

 

Journal Page Step by Step

I just finished a journal page, and managed to make a step by step video of my process.

Here’s the video:

 

 

 

And the pictures:

 

This page is about intentions. What are your desires? What are your intentions?

 

 

I love to surround myself with positive words and phrases, especially in my visual journal. To me, it reaffirms these words, to paste them in, and see them as I create the rest of my page.

 

 

 

 

 

So this is my page. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoyed my little step by step video! I know it is not the most perfect, but practice does make perfect, so bear with me, and I’ll become an ace at video editing!

 

 

 

The Stag

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Made some new art:

 

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This is the Stag. The stag is an animal spirit that comes during a transitional period in your life, bringing you the confidence to start again, and begin your new path.

The Stag is an animal with strong (obviously) male energy and powerful intuition. As a totem he represents poetry, writing, and the performing arts. The deer in general always brings a sort of grace into your life, and as a masculine energy, the Stag brings a an energy of protection, that allows you to move forward in this transitional time, without fear of losing your self.

So, the Stag is a sign of abundance. This, I didn’t know.

I paint animals and images in nature that represent something to me, and that attract something or conjure feelings in me that I need or want. This is why I love animals so much. I feel like when I keep the images around me, it creates in me the feelings that they represent to me.

I’m keeping this painting because it is my favorite, so this one is not for sale. But I may have prints available soon. Maybe.

 

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This makes me feel like I can do anything; like I can accomplish anything, and like maybe I can make my dreams come true. I love surrounding myself with ideas like this because it just makes life seem more pleasant. It is much more boring to focus solely on life as science and realize that this quote is not scientifically correct.

PROMPT: When we let that go, and think of it in a sort of fantastical mythical kind of way, what happens? What happens when we let go of the word NO and think only of the word, YES? What happens when we think solely that what we dream of is and can be a reality?