Recently I’ve been thinking of the movie with Angelina Jolie, “Malificent”. I know I’m a bit late in the game, but what can I say, I’ve never been one for pop culture.
So I have been thinking of this movie, and as I always do, I wonder about how it applies to real life, in a figurative way.
In the movie, Malificent starts out as this incredibly beautiful fairy, a guardian fairy of sorts, who has horns on her head and these grand wings on her back that are simply amazing. Within the wings, is her power, and they are a symbol of her beauty, and strength.
She loves those giant and beautiful wings, as they are such a big part of who she is, and such a big part of her personality. She’s this incredible fairy who does good and loves. At this point, it should be known that she lives in the Moors, a fairy kingdom that borders a very corrupt human land.
As a young girl becomes curious about the humans. She was filled with wonder, as she’d never been in contact with a human before. So, she meets and falls in love with a boy named Stefan, whose affection is overshadowed by his greed and hunger for power.
As most things in life, they grow up and grow apart. Of course, years have passed and now they are young adults, and Malificent becomes the guardian of the Moors.
The King of the nearby human land, as most humans, decides he wants to conqure the Moors. When his attempts fail, he ends up wounded in battle, and grows with anger and hatred toward Malificent, who is now a very powerful fairy.
To get back at her, he declares that whoever brings him the head of the great Maleficent will become the next King, and marry his only daughter Leila. In response, a now grown and quite power hungry Stefan decides to pay a visit to Malificent in the Moors. Years have passed, but her feelings go to where they had left off so many years ago when they were just children. He’s got a plan now. He offers her a drink, which is drugged, and she falls asleep, innocence casting upon her face, almost in mourning to what would come. He cannot bring himself to kill her. Instead, he opts for cutting off the beauty and innocence and power and glory about her by taking her wings. He cuts her wings off and brings them to the King, who tells him, “You have done well, my son.” Maleficent wakes up to find herself wingless. Her power, her glory and her beauty were raped from her by a man who only ever spoke to her in efforts to take her beauty from her one day.
This of course, made her a little ticked off, to say the least. She declares herself the Queen of the Moors, and becomes the Maleficent we see in the Disney cartoon. Anger made her this way. Betrayal made her this way. It was that she loved and was wronged that made her this way. Her power was taken from her.
How many times have we gone through this? How many times have we loved and given of ourselves only to be hurt and betrayed?
I’ll answer that with a parable.
When you move to New York City, you move with these starry eyes, and these dreams. You move there thinking, “I’m going to make my dreams come true, and make things happen for myself.”
You have this list of wonderful things you want to accomplish there, thinking of all the past people who lived there or where from there. You think of Allen Ginsberg, Madonna, Edgar Allen Poe, Basquiat, and so many other artists and writers who came here to make their dreams come true.
You can’t help but be overwhelmed by the beauty of New York City. It is an incredible city with beautiful architecture and so much to see and do. It is a city that upon first glance, you see all of it’s beauty. But after a while, you realize how hard it is to live here. You notice the homeless on a daily basis in New York. This isn’t Idaho, this is New York Fucking City. It’s hard as hell to live there. It is ugly sometimes. Trains don’t work sometimes. It’s competitive. It’s tough. Living here jades you. It is like we thought it was going to be beautiful and incredible, but here we are with our heart on our sleeves and the cup in our hand outstretched asking for alms. You feel betrayed. Let down.
This is what it is to feel hurt. And when Maleficent decided to move forward, she did so with all the anger and all the hurt and all the betrayal, still being the powerful fairy she always had been.
We do this, don’t we? Well fuck him. I’m just going to be angry. Fuck that shit. Fuck him. Fuck that person that hurt me. We think this way, as if holding on to anger will help. It doesn’t help. At all.
Back to the movie, though. So in the movie, at this point, you know the spell that Maleficent casts upon Aurora. What you don’t know is that the pixies hired to raise her are a bit incompetent, so Maleficent being the natural protector, takes it upon herself to watch over Aurora, even having chance meetings with her.
Eventually, Maleficent heals from her hurt and betrayal but it is not the anger or holding on that healed her, but love. It was the love for Aurora that healed her and restored her. It was love that allowed her to evolve back to the guardian of the Moors.
Love heals. It heals in a metaphysical way that many spend their lives trying to decipher how. But the truth is, you don’t have to know how. Just know that it does. If you’re Maleficent today, that’s okay. It’s not okay that someone cut your metaphoric wings off. It’s not okay that the thing that you held as your beauty or power was taken. That’s not okay. But, instead of holding on to the anger and the situation, know that we are beings of pure love. You may not feel it right now, and that’s okay. Mourn. Cry. Express the emotions you feel within. And then focus on love: loving yourself, your children, your dog, your mom, your community….just love. Focus on love and focus on loving you.
After a while, the mind will grow scar tissue over the scars in your life, and it will get easier. I promise.
After a while of being the evil Maleficent, I really did just get tired of it. I got tired of it, because bitterness and anger are heavy loads to carry. They serve no positive purpose and only make you a really annoying person to be around. So, I chose love. I chose to focus on those I could love, and it reminds me of that song, by Crosby Stills Nash & Young, “If you can’t be with the one you love honey, love the one you’re with”. Since I had no partner in my life, I had no choice but to love the one I was with, and that being my two beautiful daughters, Dakota and Dharma.
Little by little, the love overpowered the hate and the anger. Little by little I allowed the love to take over, and the anger melted.
Speaking of melted anger, I finished working on a crocheted dress for my little one, and had the opportunity to allure her into modeling it for me.
Yes, those are Easter eggs. I always beat myself up over not doing the Easter thing earlier, so I decided to go the way of June Cleaver this year and be well prepared.
How are you dealing with things these days? Are you the happy Maleficent or the naughty Maleficent?
If you like, you can take my 7 day art challenge. It’s F R E E!