Archives: July 2013

On Mermaids and being sexy

Made these:

The purple haired fairy is for sale HERE. The Pink haired fairy is for sale HERE.

Mermaids to me, embody this amazing and mythological beauty. They are the personification of sexy, pretty, graceful, touch me now because I am all that and I know it.
They are so beautiful and confident and they know it.
When did we women become so damned insecure?
We use symbols such as the mermaid as a reminder that we are sexy, just as we are. That we deserve affection, attention and sometimes the occasional cat call.
Sexy isn’t a hollywood thin body, blond hair and blue eyes. Sexy is an attitude. Sexy is confidence. Sexy me walking down the street and yes you can look because I know I am all of that, honey. I am. I think a lot of women on porn websites like https://www.tubev.sex/ have that confidence to be sexy regardless of their appearance. My friend tells me there is a fetish for every type so everyone is a mermaid in their own way. There is always a group of people that are attracted to different body Why should I be  modest? I went through 14 years of being modest. I’m outright bragging now. I don’t need to hide anymore, under painted clothing.
For many years I fooled myself into thinking that being modest meant I had to hide who I am. I’m not saying I’m going to wear mini skirts and low cut tops. But in truth, the mermaid makes me feel things. Makes me feel like I can be that sexy woman, luring a man with the song in my heart, a tube of lipgloss and a new maxi dress.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my painted jeans. I love to buy art supplies, and enjoy spending most of my money on items that I probably won’t make for another year or so, filling my closet with paints and papers and glitter and canvas. I do. But sometimes a little lip gloss and a new dress can go a long way. You know?
That and a bit of perfume really brings my sexy back. And I’m not hiding that anymore.
So thank you to the mermaid totem for bringing my sexy back. I’m not going to hide it anymore. Why bother? Jealous? You shouldn’t be. Bring your own sexy back. Invite a mermaid into your life. See what happens.

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

On love and monsters

 The heart speaks to monsters. Sometimes, when we shut our eyes we make the most grand choices, and other times we make a mistake. We make a mistake that ends up costing us many years of our freedom, of our heart, and our life.
What is it to truly love? Do we even know what this word means? Maybe it is just a word that is tossed around, abused and misused like a cheap whore on 42nd street in the 1980s. Maybe love is just a word.
Or maybe love is something greater. Maybe out of the biggest mistakes we make, there comes something amazing, something grand that can be called motherhood. That amazing moment when you realize that you really do love this small version of you so much more than something that you really want to do.
Our heart speaks to monsters; monsterous egos, monsterous minds, and gigantic, huge ideas about life and love and the meaning of life.
Monsters are everywhere. They are hiding and they are not. They are beautiful and they are not. Monsters fool you into thinking that you cannot make it on your own, and that your identity as a person, belongs with just this one person.
Monsters make you wonder about life and they do not. They are anything you want them to be because monsters are created by your own mind, but the will inside you, by the stuff that dreams were truly made of.
And sometimes in our dreams, we lay there, starving, mad naked in all our openeness, letting the world see what makes a woman a woman, and what makes a man a man.
Sometimes the monsters we create chew us up and spit us out and leave us for dead, but do you know what?
Sometimes we can still rise above the rest.

Have you ever heard someone having skeletons in their closet? What if you were the skeleton in your own fictional closet? What if you were the person you were afraid of showing? What if you opened your own closet and you saw yourself-there-a bare skeletal version of yourself. Cold and alone.
Barely breathing. Do skeletons breathe?
Skeletons in the closet. If I have skeletons, I would much rather tell the world than to hide them. Why bother hiding the flaws that are inside you? I say, flaunt them. Let the world know that I am indeed a messy person. I forget to wash dishes. I do things like talk alot, and let my cravings rule my diet, and tend to over do it sometimes.
Flaws are not things to be ashamed of, or conquered, as if we strive for perfection. No. Let us live and revel in our flaws. Let us tell the monsters that make us hide in closets that we no longer choose this for ourselves.
It’s those goddamned monsters.
They do this to us.
The monsters we create in our mind, with our will and intention, they do this to us: tell us to hide in closets, to hide our loved ones in closets that they later hang themselves in.
Hide behind the desk.
Leave me alone, I’m working, here.
Sure.
Do that. Just leave. The monsters will protect me.

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

Not a Pretty Girl

My mistake was looking to you to save me
My mistake was thinking I could not make it on my own
I won’t write a poem about unrequited love
or about the friends that failed me
about love that was lost
but I will write
about the me that I shall become
about the way my wings will soar above the clouds
about how you’ll regret walking out on what we had
and about how it won’t matter anymore
I’m not angry today
I’m not sad
I made a mistake
in putting my faith in you
and I am not a little girl who needs saving
nor a helpless animal
and you are not a savior

Currently listening to:

On Golden Clouds

Made this. Blogged HERE
Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

On Anger and House of Love

You know, I used to look at Frida Kahlo’s life, and think that I was nothing like her. I mean, first of all, I had this great Mr. Wonderful. Secondly, I’d never have that sort of a marriage, where I had to settle for less in a man.
I realize that with my health issues (fibromyaglia) and the stuff I’m going through, I am more like her than I realize.
I never really realied how much a man can be so callous towards a woman, and how strong a woman has to be because of that. I never realized that.
I thought that I had picked the right person, that this person wouldn’t just give up on me, wouldn’t just let fourteen years go, simply because he got an itch that he wants to scratch.
It’s also seemingly unfair that all the friends WE had seem to suprisingly take his side, without even bothering to ask me if I am okay.
This is all a part of the rape culture that we are in: blame the victim, and praise the perpetrator. What did she do? She deserved it. The bitch had it coming. Sure.
The truth is, my art is my solace.
And you know what? It’s okay for me to be angry. Maybe I was too blind to see that he checked out years ago, that he lost interest in me years ago, and now I am faced with the idea of living my life in a way I never thought possible.
The issue is where to take that anger. And I am choosing to direct that anger into my art. I’m going to channel it into a positive way, since I truly do not like feeling negatively.

In other news, I made some art:

I haven’t listed this one, but if you would like to purchase it, just leave me a comment with your email address and I can list it for you.

So that’s that.

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

Fiber Love & Mourning

So, don’t forget about my etsy store! I have jewelry, artwork, and wonderful handspun yarn in my shop HERE.

Here’s a picture of my workspace. I love the way the water soluble oils come out in a photograph, don’t you?
That’s a drawing that I worked on.
The way I work is that I have (in general) two art journals: one is for fine art, and is generally in watercolors alone. The other is a mixed media art journal that is more of a real true art journal (in that I speak of my goings on, my feelings, etc).

Here’s new etsy listing. I know I haven’t listed jewelry or yarn in a while, but I have been wanting to create a new line that reflected and infused my art. I am working on a few things, so it will be coming soon.

Also, I wanted to say that recent events have been inflated by me just a bit.
The truth is, he and I share two children that I so love. We love our daughters, and we promised ourselves to not become that couple that hate each other, bad mouthing each other at any turn.
I shared 14 years with this person. Fourteen wonderful years that upon reflection, I would not trade for anything in the world.
We shared a magical relationship upon which an amazing friendship blossomed. It was kismet. When I met him, it was sheer magic.
You may not  believe this, but I saw our future together and I instantly felt a force not unlike a magnet that drew me to him.
We went through hell in our homes due to our dysfunctional parents, but we got through it. We dated. We fell in love. We married. Had children. Now, it is time for us to spread our wings, and discover who we truly are.
We were meant to be; we were meant to marry, and have the beautiful children that we have, for they are a perfect and flawless reflection of who we are.
So now I have made peace with him. He hurt me, yes. My heart my was broken. But you want to know something? It really is for the best.
I never had the chance to truly be the best me I could, mostly because of my aforementioned upbringing.
At any rate, I can actually face him now. I can be near him. This is a good thing. We have two children to raise; two children whom we are choosing to raise together, as the family that we are.
And that’s all. I’m here now, to discover my true self.

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

To my Twenty year old self

Dear 20 year old me:

I want you to know that you matter. You are are important.

Please don’t stay with a man who points out your flaws. You’re better than that.

You don’t have a deadline for love and marriage and children. You can wait. Take it easy.
Don’t compromise your needs in the name of love

You can do it on your own. You can. Yes, you can.

Love takes time.

Believe in soulmates. Real soulmates. Soulmates that cherish you; that accept you as you are.

GO TO COLLEGE

Love. Don’t be afraid of love.  Or sex.

Be happy in your own skin

Never do anything that you don’t want to do.

Never let someone talk you into doing something you don’t believe in. Don’t want to? Don’t do it.

If you have a gut feeling, go with it. Don’t wait.

Love yourself first. always.

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

Blue Geisha

You know, I had written this long rant for some people who apparently messaged my ex husband asking HIM what was going on, instead of bothering to ask me.
But they aren’t worth it. They aren’t real true friends, and for that matter, aren’t real true christians, though I am starting to think there is no such thing as a true christian.
It doesn’t matter. I was the one that was hurt. Five years ago he betrayed my trust. Three years ago he again betrayed me in a way I never thought possible, in a way that broke my christian upbringing, and everything that I stand for, but I forgave. I forgave him anyway.
But then, when the partner I’ve been with for lo these fourteen years, tells me that they have no hope in our marriage, that they never got the chance to be “wild and free” and that they want freedom, and that they aren’t sure about our marriage, it tells me something. It tells me that it is time to be “wild and free” myself. I am a beautiful, smart, creative and intelligent woman. Unlike him, I actually really knew what I wanted when I got married. So if you’re inquire about a particular situation, it’s probably best to get both sides of the story, not just the one.
So now that I got that out of the way, I did make a new painting:

It’s a blue geisha that I happened to see a photo of on Pinterest. I like her, don’t you?
She is FOR SALE HERE in my shop.

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

Affirmations, when I need them

So I worked on a new journal page.
Having been going through all that I have, I thought it fitting to make a page with affirmations on it to myself.

Having been married to a person who made a habit of pointing out my flaws and how little he thought I do, it was fitting to make a page that states all the things I do.
I am many things: a baker, mother, artist, blogger, poet, creative soul, wife, chef, and a caring loving person.
If he chooses to focus on my flaws, that isn’t my fault. I deserve real true love. We all do. You deserve love too.
Anyway, in addition to today’s lovely artsy offering, I’m also proud to say that I’m finally offering art journal workshops again!
Come take the trip to my private home in brooklyn, where I’ll host and teach exclusive art journal workshops.
I have been teaching craft classes for over five years, and now I am BACK IN THE SADDLE!
You can hop on over to my page HERE for more info on that.
It’s not just art journal instructions. It’s so much more than that. It’s actually my method for staying creative and staying in art no matter what.
So, check it out! It’s only $25, so you can’t really afford NOT to!

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy

Sirena, rescue me

Hey there, friends. 

So, if you follow me on facebook, you might know that times have been sort of tough on the home front. I have never felt more alone, and more down in my life. Normally, I am suzy q happy. I am always full of energy and love to stay up late making art, watching the golden girls and eating snacks. These days I go to bed with my children. It’s a hard time for me, but my art is there for me, when practically no one else in New York City is. I have one friend who can never meet up with me due to being a busy mom and all that, but no one else is.
Life sucks sometimes but when it does, I turn to my children, and my art. I have no husband anymore. So that is life.

At any rate, I made this:

Here’s a little poem to go with it:

Oh Sirena, rescue me
come and take me to your lair
and turn me into a fish tailed beauty 
just like you
Oh Sirena life on land is lousy at times
and oft I find solace
in thinking of seeing you 
and swimming with you
Anyway, this piece is for sale IN MY SHOP HERE.
Happy Monday!

Diana Gonzalez

Diana Gonzalez is a self taught artist, writer and poet, formerly known as The Craftaholic.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” 

-Jack Kerouac


Want to get creatively UNSTUCK? 
Click HERE!

Etsy