I’m just being swallowed
huge gnawing teeth
I’m being swallowed up by nothingness
way that things fluctuate
I hate change
I like sameness
I like when you’re stable mable
just there when I need you
but the only thing
that does not change
is that everything changes
and I hate change
did I mention that?
Too much change,
do much happening, I
miss my old apartment
I miss the things that were regular
So I am swallowed
by all the things that fluctuate
I shall instead, just stand up tall
and grow my roots
and be firm where I am
and be like the tree
or perhaps grow wings
and be as the birds, and
not mind that life changes
all that much
just go with the flow
just flitter and fly whilst collecting my shiny tiny objects
to scatter around my nest
Yes, I think I’ll do that: be the bird
I’ll grow beautiful black raven wings
and embrace this blasted change.
My dear daughters,
I miss you. I miss you sorely, and feel lost without you. I know you’ll be back tonite to sleep in your own bed, to snore lightly and call for me in your sleep, but today, I miss you. I have grown accustomed to not having to share you, and this week, I had to share you. And so, I miss you both.
Making art or jewelry without you both being there to fight over the leftover beads and paint almost seems like I’m betraying you. I know you’ll be back soon. I’ll save you my leftover bits of yarn. I promise.
Meanwhile, I want to say that I realize I hate change. I think the issue with change, how much we get used to the same things. There was a time in my life when everything was always changing so much. Finally things began to stay the same. I enjoyed this. I enjoyed the sameness. I reveled and prided myself in keeping things the same for so long. But change is inevitable. Not just change as far as people around you, that is what it is. I dealt with that a long time ago. I mean change as far as moving. I cannot stand moving. I really do not enjoy it. Finding a new normal is the most frustrating thing for me.
Just listed this in m shop today:
|Purchase these lovely hoops HERE.|
I miss my kids.
Currently listening to: