On crocheted sweaters and self love

I finished things sweater that I’ve been working on for so what felt like an eternity. Living a creative life is often filled with abandoned projects, and art supplies you’d long forgotten about.

But in finishing something, especially something knitted or crocheted, there is a sort of joy there. There’s a sense of accomplishment when plastering pictures on social media or when wearing said item out to the grocery store or to work.

There’s sort of an aspect of bragging- like we earned this right to say how good we are- as tho we need an excuse in order to feel positively about ourselves.

When did self love become wrong? When did appreciating the good things about our own selves become something evil? Is it wrong to brag about the talents that the universe has given us? There is a sort of stigma in society today. A stigma that we must love ourselves, but if we love ourselves too much we must be conceited. If we brag too much about ourselves we must be stuck up. And if we are a woman, and our breasts are too large, and our make up is too loud, we must be a slut. These are all things that we add to this stigma of ourselves. There is no wonder that we are all unhappy. It is no wonder that we are unhappy people constantly looking for what new items or new thing will make us happy and fancy ourselves.

I will pay the stigma no mind. I will pay the stigma that is placed upon women no attention. It is not my concern what the media thinks a woman should live up to or what a woman should do. My only concern is that of my children myself, and my partner. But I will not pay attention or give flame to the stigma placed upon women whereas we are supposed to love ourselves, but not too much because that would be conceit. Whereas we are to groom ourselves but not too much because then we’d be a slut.

I have chosen to love myself no matter what. And fuck what others think. I am here: this queer self taught artist, proud of the woman I am and the woman I strive to be. And I really can’t be bothered with what others think.

I will not create a stigma. I will wear the colors that I choose to wear, I will brag about my talents because I know what I’m good at, and if I want to wear aloud flashy colors and make up, then I will. It is my right. And if I want to love myself, I will. There is nothing wrong with recognizing your talents.

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