On Fuck Ups, self love and a new video

Every now and again you’ll turn on the radio and a song will come on that reminds you of someone you used to love. 

Every now and again this song plays on the radio, and even if you don’t have any more emotion, and even if you don’t feel anything anymore, this song will conjure memories of feelings you once had. Every once in a while. And every once in a while, you begin to wonder how you got to where you are. Especially, when you are going through a difficult time. 

It is during this time Speaking for myself, you tend to sort of… Blame yourself. You see the flaws in yourself. You see the mistakes you’ve made in the past. But then, I’m reminded of another type of relationship. The relationship that we have with our friends. 

Oh you know the type. You have that one friend, who perhaps makes questionable choices, The one friend that talks too loud, the one friend that says things out of turn, we all have friends like that. But what do we do? We love them anyway. We love them despite their flaws. We love them despite the fact that they say things out of turn. We love them despite the fact that they make questionable choices. 

Perhaps we should turn that sort of love upon ourselves. Perhaps we should turn to ourselves and love ourselves despite our flaws. 

But why don’t we? Why is it that we must blame ourselves for every wrong thing that is happened in our lives? Sure. Life is shitty. And sure, maybe we are to blame for that. But also, perhaps there are good things about ourselves. 

Often times the relationship between an empath and a narcissist is one where the empath often feels guilty for practicing self love. And so it is often difficult for us to except ourselves just the way that we are because having any form of self love would remind us of the narcissist that so traumatized our life and caused us to hate ourselves.

It seems as though I am rambling. But in fact, I am not. It is my believe that the mind works this way. The empath, in fear over being overcome with pride, protects itself with self hate. And the self hatred, reminds them that they are not like the narcissist that so scarred and traumatized them in life. But having pride in one’s self and being conceited or two separate things altogether.

Self-love means I love myself despite my fuck ups. Self-love means I see the mistakes I’ve made in life and I’m not OK with them, but I am OK with myself. When you love your friend, you’ll love them despite their annoyances. You see their annoyances, but you also see the good things. 

Me and Christy, brings the silly debaucherous hams we are

When I see my friend Christy, I see all the good things about her. I see all the wonderful things that she has to offer. She is, my cheerleader. And I, and hers as well. While I obviously probably annoy her at times, she sees past my mistakes and loves me anyway. 

So perhaps it’s time for you to do that to yourself. Perhaps it is time now for you to focus on the good things about yourself and love yourself despite your fuck ups. Despite the bad things. Despite the bad choices you’ve made.

Love, baby: that’s where it’s at. 

I’ve made a new video for you. Another art video. 

Here’s what I made:

I hope you enjoy reading my random thoughts, and the video. Do subscribe to my channel if you do.

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