On Choices


Sometimes our bad choices are based on impulse, based on a lack of sobriety, based on friendships we may have.
It reminds me of an old TV show are used to watch it was a very sarcastic clown and at the end of each “lesson “he would say “what have you learned your children?“

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I think sometimes we look for a lesson in the midst of the turmoil because it is easier than realizing you wasted a piece of your life away on a bad decision you made.
The problem is that often our bad choices seem like worthwhile ones.
Maybe we aren’t thinking it through all the way. Maybe we don’t have our “voice of reason” friend nearby to knock some sense into us.
Excuses, excuses.
Look, if you make shitty choices, expect a shitty outcome. That’s just how life works.
When it comes to people, well that’s just another game all together. I have no idea what to tell you about that because I make shitty choices in people all the damn time. It’s sorta my shtick.
Perhaps this is why there are an endless array of books out about making shitty choices in people: to help us not make shitty choices in people.

A search on Amazon for books on relationships revealed over 40,000 results. That’s….a lot. But….do we really need that tho?

Do we really a stranger to tell us what we are doing wrong? Are we that disconnected from ourselves?

Meditation teaches us to be still; to be calm through the storms, and it teaches us to listen. Listen.

I am not a perfect woman. I have made shitty choices both in my romantic relationships with men AND women, and in other aspects of my life. But I think I am starting to realize that success in life comes when you pursue what is right for you without apologies. Without worry or care about fixing anyone.

It is not your job to fix anyone. It is not. Your job is to fix you. You and your children when they are still your legal dependents.

All of this is not to say that I will still not make shitty choices. I’m human. I will. But….I am no longer going to sit and think that there’s always a lesson when someone it’s just a shit choice. Sometimes there is a lesson. I won’t wrack my brain over it, and I am not going to hate myself over it either.

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So I shall pursue my dreams without apologies. I will look for what’s best for me. I will seek peace and love. Because in the end, we are all in this Carnival called life, through the horrors, the mirrors, the moments that make us laugh, and the moments that make us want to sing. And no one gets out of it alive.

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