On Learning to Say No


I do not do for others anymore.

I realize how this sounds, you think perhaps that I am selfish. I am not. Simply, I am choosing to put my kindness in places where it deserves to be, and not where my kindness is not reciprocated. I have two children, and I love them dearly. But if you are over the age of 10, and are not named Dakota or Dharma with my last name, I’m sure I do not owe you unreciprocated kindness. I’m pretty damn sure of this.

So I am learning to say no. I am learning to put my needs ahead of the needs of those who only take take take and never truly give. It’s my time. It’s ME now. This aforementioned statement does not make me selfish. Self love is not selfish. It is not selfish of me to no longer do favors for you when you are never there for me, or loan you money that I’ll never see or give you cigarettes you never pay for.

I am learning to say no and NOT feel guilty. I am learning that when a person shows you who they are, you must believe them.

I am not selfish for putting myself first; for cutting out those who do not do as I.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said we are to surround ourselves with people who are where we are at. I am doing that now. For too long I lived to please others thinking that if I went out of my way, perhaps they’d see me; truly see me. The sad fact about the world we live in is that many are blind. We walk amongst people who have perfect eyesight yet are so blind to the people around them, one can only look and feel sorry for them. What’s even sadder still, is that these very blind people are the ones with the biggest mouths. The ones that vote for the wrong president, the ones that want to see women’s rights depleted to nothing, the ones that have the largest egos.

“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all the mysteries and all knowledge and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”

Love doesn’t use. So please don’t come at me with your tired excuse about how you love your offspring but hate everyone else. Love and hate do not reside in the same building, my friend. Either you are a loving person or a hateful person.

My mother says you know a person by the fruit they bear.

What kind of fruit do you bear?


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